salam and hey everyone.
so this year's raya is really something.
i get to celebrate it in india, a day before practical exams start.
so guess what i did?
went to the mosque to pray and went back home to study.
and honestly i don't feel that sad.
i don't even care
i mean, i am happy i'm alive to celebrate our victory.
but other that than, it's just another day, another date.
and exams?
i don;t even care that much
for microb and DM i even study flippantly.
i know i shouldnt, but then again what do i study for?
to be recognized? to get awards? to be famous?
i know i wanted 4D, but coming nearer to exams i don't even care that much
i just wanted to pass.
and i realized that it's actually good for me.
because when you are too attached to something duniawi;
and when Allah takes that from you,
you will fall, hard.
i used to think that being excellence in studies is one of few things i have.
like some have so many friends, while i dont
and some have other talents, i dont know
so it's like being a nerd is my thing.
but then i would worry, what if Allah takes that from me?
what if Allah wanted to test me, by falling me in any subjects or whatever?
i am not strong, i never have real test in life, just few small bumps.
but i dont know if i am prepared to be tested that big,
so i started to draw myself away from studies.
don't get me wrong, i still struggle and study hard.
it's just that it doesnt matter that much anymore.
it's okay if i am average. it's okay i dont get recognized by the college.
as long as i pass my BDS and will be a dentist, then i am content.
anyway, it's not like the results depend on my hard work,
it's all Allah's gift. and He only look for our work, not the result.
which reminds me one of the sharing session i had.
my naqibah said that some people struggle hard, work hard but still get low grades and we only study a little but we get high grade?
but what we don't know is the value in Allah's eye.
the results doesnt matter, it's the struggle that He sees.
and it hit me hard.
i'm the type that study flippantly and get good results.
so i wonder just where do i stand in His eyes. and that makes me sad :(
okay moving on.
now is the semester holidays, i have plans to travel to Australia,
just pray that everything will go smoothly and our journey is blessed.
but before that, nothing planned.
oh lemme tell you our journey home.
did i tell you everyone of my friends passed year 2?
so we'll be continuing in malacca after this, Alhamdulillah
few days before the trip back home were pretty stressful
we need to handle everything in short time.
not to forget that we need to pack the boxes during ramadhan AND exams
so yeah.
but after sending the boxes home, it felt sad.
and after practical exams, selling our home stuffs to juniors,
emptying the house, it was really sad.
so why was it stressful?
we need to close the account bank (which i never did)
we need to terminate our RP
selling the scooter (bye2 john)
getting back our advance payment for the house,
buying saress and packing the already excess luggage
but for my group i am thankful that we didn't face much trouble.
for domestic flight the guy only charge me for 15kg even though my bag excess for 25kg lol
other than that i can say it went smoothly Alhamdulillah
i remember breaking down 2 hours before our journey
because my bag excess so much and the house manager still didnt give the money
but then Allah help me, and during the journey i remember feeling calm
masyaAllah. so never under estimate the power of du'a
there are actually a lot of things i didnt do before leaving manipal for good
and a lot of stuffs i didnt buy.
but nothing we can do about it now.
for manipal, and the teachers, and everyone there,
i thank you for giving me such wonderful memories.
so this year's raya is really something.
i get to celebrate it in india, a day before practical exams start.
so guess what i did?
went to the mosque to pray and went back home to study.
and honestly i don't feel that sad.
i don't even care
i mean, i am happy i'm alive to celebrate our victory.
but other that than, it's just another day, another date.
and exams?
i don;t even care that much
for microb and DM i even study flippantly.
i know i shouldnt, but then again what do i study for?
to be recognized? to get awards? to be famous?
i know i wanted 4D, but coming nearer to exams i don't even care that much
i just wanted to pass.
and i realized that it's actually good for me.
because when you are too attached to something duniawi;
and when Allah takes that from you,
you will fall, hard.
i used to think that being excellence in studies is one of few things i have.
like some have so many friends, while i dont
and some have other talents, i dont know
so it's like being a nerd is my thing.
but then i would worry, what if Allah takes that from me?
what if Allah wanted to test me, by falling me in any subjects or whatever?
i am not strong, i never have real test in life, just few small bumps.
but i dont know if i am prepared to be tested that big,
so i started to draw myself away from studies.
don't get me wrong, i still struggle and study hard.
it's just that it doesnt matter that much anymore.
it's okay if i am average. it's okay i dont get recognized by the college.
as long as i pass my BDS and will be a dentist, then i am content.
anyway, it's not like the results depend on my hard work,
it's all Allah's gift. and He only look for our work, not the result.
which reminds me one of the sharing session i had.
my naqibah said that some people struggle hard, work hard but still get low grades and we only study a little but we get high grade?
but what we don't know is the value in Allah's eye.
the results doesnt matter, it's the struggle that He sees.
and it hit me hard.
i'm the type that study flippantly and get good results.
so i wonder just where do i stand in His eyes. and that makes me sad :(
okay moving on.
now is the semester holidays, i have plans to travel to Australia,
just pray that everything will go smoothly and our journey is blessed.
but before that, nothing planned.
oh lemme tell you our journey home.
did i tell you everyone of my friends passed year 2?
so we'll be continuing in malacca after this, Alhamdulillah
few days before the trip back home were pretty stressful
we need to handle everything in short time.
not to forget that we need to pack the boxes during ramadhan AND exams
so yeah.
but after sending the boxes home, it felt sad.
and after practical exams, selling our home stuffs to juniors,
emptying the house, it was really sad.
so why was it stressful?
we need to close the account bank (which i never did)
we need to terminate our RP
selling the scooter (bye2 john)
getting back our advance payment for the house,
buying saress and packing the already excess luggage
but for my group i am thankful that we didn't face much trouble.
for domestic flight the guy only charge me for 15kg even though my bag excess for 25kg lol
other than that i can say it went smoothly Alhamdulillah
i remember breaking down 2 hours before our journey
because my bag excess so much and the house manager still didnt give the money
but then Allah help me, and during the journey i remember feeling calm
masyaAllah. so never under estimate the power of du'a
there are actually a lot of things i didnt do before leaving manipal for good
and a lot of stuffs i didnt buy.
but nothing we can do about it now.
for manipal, and the teachers, and everyone there,
i thank you for giving me such wonderful memories.
love;
nadia :)
