away

hey bloggy..

i'm gonna be away for the next 3 months.

sorry because i can't bring u with me.

i'm going to do my part as a responsible citizen.(yeah rite)

anyway,wish me the best of luck.

hope to come back home safe and sound

toodles~

sajasaja sukasuka

so i've read this blog and she posted a link to this website.i took the quiz and let me share with u the result.got me rofl.haha

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

well.some of it is true,of course not the part that people were charmed by me..it's just so absurd.the part that i'm childish?a little bit true.and the part that i should pay more attention to what people think is true..i mean,it's not really me to care what the hell people think.i live my life for me,so why should i care?

rakan2.anda boleh mencuba untuk menjawab kuiz ini dan saya teramat pasti anda mendapat jawapan yang sama dengan saya ;)

this is the link http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx

selamat mencuba rakan2 :)

bloggy

she said that blog is for expressing our feelings,not to show off.well i don't really show my feeling with words.if i'm mad,i'll keep quiet.if i'm sad,i'll cry.if i'm happy,i'll smile like an idiot.that's how i show my feeling.thing is,i'm not really good with words,with flowery words.i can't say something else while meaning other thing,i'm that type to call a spade a spade.

as i read other people's blog,i was amazed by how touching it is.it was so deep i could cry.no.i'm not exaggerating,i'm telling nothing but the truth.the words are so pure and honest.and oh i can't express the feeling.i want to write like that,but of course i couldn't..yeah sure i write a lot,but i write stuff like shit.and hell yes i talk like shit.but who cares?

they talked about something else but u know that what they mean is another thing.it was more than metaphor.it was beautiful.maybe that's why people wrote blog.i know when i signed up to have a blog,i have to be creative.i wasn't meaning to pour all my secrets in here,to tell the world about my life.blog was meant to share about our opinion,our feelings.surely it's not for self centered person.no hard feelings okay?

here i go again,saying stuff that people don't want to read.maybe that's why i wrote don't read at the top of my blog.u don't have to waste ur time reading this stupid shit of mine art,because i wrote what came across my mind.i love writing,probably because i'm not really good at speaking.

not that i can write well either.but either this or that,and i take this.maybe because we can delete what we write but once we talk,it's done.we can't take back what we say.and the malay said, "kerana mulut badan binasa" they don't say, "kerana tangan badan binasa"..of course what they really mean is words are more hurtful than any weapons because it hurt deep inside and no one knows that we are hurting..people (including me) said a lot of things that we regret..and sometimes i didn't say things that i had to say.things that later on i will be thinking before going to sleep.

why can't we just be perfect?why can't we know exactly to say this thing and exactly don't?why can't we wear an outfit that got everybody red with envy?why can't we just be happy for who we are,what we have?and the list goes on...the answer is simple ndia,nothing is perfect.no,nothing.sometimes i'm grateful for what i have,but other times..stop!

it's not about me.it's the world.honestly,i don't really care.the world has gone mad.the rich is filthy rich,the poor is really really poor.how can someone wears a bag that cost thousands of RM when at the other side of the world,people are begging to eat?how can someone (like me) doesn't finish their food when others only eat once in a week?it made me sad to think about this,really..

and how can people be ignorant to the Earth that's having so many problems?thinning of ozone layer,acid rain,global warming,u name it..i do my part,even if it's just a tiny one.i recycle,i try my hardest to tell my friends to recycle to.i switch off all the plug when not in use.but i don't really save water when i'm showering.pardon me for that Mother Nature.please people,let's save the Earth.

and at 2.15 a.m i'm writing about something that really really sound stupid.who give a damn bout what u say?i want to be some one so i can change the world.to change the world is easy.u just have to change ur mind.oh stop reading because i'm really blabbering.

maybe i should stop.morning everyone.

ndia

enjoy :)

so yesterday i drove alone for the first time.yeah!haha

the original plan was to hang out at the mall.i got out of the house at about 2 pm,i fetched kimi and eira and we arrived at the mall like,3.15?how long did i took?haha.

and arriving there,i met aa,syafa,mcjue,and apih..we snapped some photos,ate at the kfc and then pokjak came meeting us.mcjue had to go home early so she left.

we walked around the mall like for 10 mins then pokjak suggested that we go to the beach and hell yes!so he drove eira and syafa and i drove kimi and aa..unfortunately eira had to go home so pokjak send her home first.

meanwhile,me,aa and kimi stopped at a boutique to find a dress for aa..then we went to pcb and had to wait for pokjak to arrive with syafa.and he took like about 15 min.

after that,we had a blast!we played at the shore,practically swimming.haha..all the people were staring at us but no we didn't give a damn.we were just enjoying ourselves as teenagers :)

when we had done with the water,pokjak treated us for a drink.and that was when i got drunk.of course not literally..i had a terrible headache that i had to ask kimi to drove.and poor him.he had to walk home because i wasn't in a good shape to drive and he was worried sick.i was the sick one of course.

and that night,i had to sleep all night i didn't have the time to write this blog.but hey,i wrote anyway ;)

i love u guys.

love

ndia :)

mencari konklusi

buat pertama kalinya aku mencuba menulis blog berbahasa melayu.

otakku bercelaru..aku telah berkali2 menghadapi dugaan yang sama.berkali2 aku membuat keputusan yang sama.tetapi hatiku nyata tidak membenarkan aku meneruskan apa yang sepatutnya telah lama aku lakukan.tidak,terlalu sukar.mungkin aku mampu,ya memang aku mampu.cuma hatiku tidak mengizinkan..jiwaku tidak mampu untuk pasrah.ah,lupakan saja.masa sudah tentu mengubah segalanya.dan mungkin,semua ini akan berubah.aku cuma mampu berdoa agar perubahan itu merupakan perkara yang baik untuk semua.

yeah i sound like an idiot didn't i?i mean,i am not bragging nor do i forget my root,it's just that i feel normal writing in english even it's a broken one.anyway,i don't speak malay language,i speak kelantanese accent.and it is way different from malay language,it's cooler ;)

and so about my problem there?oh i don't know what to say about it anymore.i know what i should do,really i know.but i don't want to do it.u know,like u know u need to eat some medicine but u refuse because it doesn't taste good,even if u know it's for ur own benefit.it's the same for me.i prefer to let it follow the flow.find it's own way..

''love is like life,not always good and happy.life is not easy but we don't stop living,so why should we stop loving?"i have the answer now,to stop us from breaking our own hearts,right?

love got me wondering.and wondering.and i couldn't stop wondering.what's about love that make people search high and low for it?what's about it that make people die for it?maybe i didn't find that type of love yet,but i believe i've found something really special because,,oh i don't know.it made me float in the air,sometimes made me sink deep down in the sea,but i love it.yeah,me,love love.'anything that worth having is sure enough worth fighting for'..i will fight for this love i found,but i'm not really sure for how long will i fight for it.let's hope long enough until i get married ;)

i'm signing off,till then,see u again

love,

ndia :)

so today aa,pokjak n i went to uitm machang for the 'melangkah menuju uitm' expo.i'm still quite unsure what my purpose going there to be frank ;) ..all i know is that i had a blast.weee

so aa came to pick me n pokjak at my house at about 9,perhaps..it was a long way to machang,took about 1 hour.and boy,there were just so many people there!so we met mcjue and mira there.i just look around,finding nothing.

then on the way back to kb,we stopped by at kak sha's friend's wedding.'mkn free' :)

and pokjak ate a lot,like really2 much.haha.it was nice.we snapped some funny pictures in the car.and that's all maybe.but i really2 had fun,it was nice to forget about some problems even just for a short time.

thanks guy :)

love

ndia :)

the end of torturement

at last.the waiting is over.tralala.

so,my result?hee..not so bad,but not good enough.

the clock on the wall

tick tock on the clock..the hands of the clock never stop,don't they?can i make them wait?like,just for about a couple of hours,or perhaps a couple of days?i don't wanna do this.i'm the panic type.but seriously ndia,it happened already right?i'm just accepting the consequences.so there's no reason at all to be panic.for better or for worse,it already happened.u can't change it anymore.so let's just hope for the best.

wait,so there is reason to be scared.or should i say,reasons?

first,my mom hopes for the best.i mean,me myself hope for the best,but it's just difference.she has high hopes for me,she expect me to excel in just about anything.her other kids are like that,and always she compared her kids to one another or us to other kids out there.like,she loves to ask about the best students in my batch,and compare me with them.i'm not a best student,i don't even came close!i know she does/did that to motivate me,but sometimes it's just stressing me out.of course when i failed in something,recently the jpj test,i was disappointed with myself,i knew i can do better,but when she showed her disappointment,she made it worst..i felt terribly bad.wait,let me catch my tears..

i love her,and to let her down is just the worst thing i can ever do.let's stop before i drown myself with tears.

okay,the second reason is the people.oh God!could they just stop saying "u need not to worry.surely u can score straight As."?i mean,how do they know considering i don't even so sure myself?and secretly,(not so secret now) they made it worse.way worse than my mom could make.what if i don't score straight As?where will i put my face?huh?i won't mind if it is certain that i'm going to grip the As in my hand,they can say all they want.but the thing is still unknown,they shouldn't go around saying things they seem so sure.and of course,when i say that things about then,they will deny it.'oh no that's impossible',unlikely!','yeah right.like that could happen' were some answers i get.and oh i get it.we just say these things to comfort each other..and the good thing is,it was like some prayer we read.so next time people say those things to me,i just say 'amin,God's willing'..

the last but surely not least is because i worked hard.i maybe not study hard,but smart enough,at least i think.i could say,last year,the exam year,i don't even care about other stuffs.people hate me?go on,like i care.friends ditch me?'sokay,i can find other friends.but the thing was,i never try to find other friend.i just concentrate on my study and i missed all the fun.i quit from my clique just because of study.at that time,i don't really care.sorry to say but i knew if i don't ditch them,i could never focus on my study.they were just having fun..i'm the type that follow the flow.if i'm with the brainys,i could be like them,of course not as good,but could do.if i'm in a gang,i could be a gangster too.that's my problem,i'm easily influenced by people or surrounding.sure i have my own rules and principle,but i could adopt myself to my surrounding.it was bad that i'm easily influenced,but i'm happy to know that i can survive given whatever the condition is.i'm a little bit sidetrack,let's get back.so i was saying that i studied hard for the spm,and if the result is not good enough,it just didn't worth it then.i fully regret to lose my friends,but it happened for reasons right?

i can't believe i wrote this long.my brain is a little bit rusty and i lose quite a lot of vocabs,but who gives a damn?do tell me if i made grammatical errors or just some stupid spelling mistakes.i'm practicing my english actually ;)

maybe i should stop.if my result is worth to be proud of,i'll tell the world..but if i don't say anything about my result after this,u know it.

till then,good bye people

love;

ndia

what if

what if i told u that i like your eyes

would u blush and say goodbye

what if i told u that i like your smile

would u run away for miles

what if i told u that i like u

would u love me too

what if i told u that i miss u

would u want me too

cause i've been thinking bout u lately

i think i'm going crazy

cause it's u that i wanna be with

u are all that's in my mind

baby i like u

and u fill my thought

every moment every second

u all i can think of

p/s: anyone kind enough to make a music for these?

la la love

love love love.why do people (including me) loves to talk about love?simple.no one can fully describe love.u might say love is sweet,while i say love is crazy.u might say u LOVE love,maybe i'll say i hate love.there's just like no limit to describe this one word.

i learn love the hard way..

some people search endlessly for love,but me?i found and i threw.i try my hardest to keep this love that i found,maybe way too hard..

oh what am i babbling about?

so.love eh?sometimes i don't even realize that i had love.that i love.that i LOVE love.it's never easy,but it's worth it."love is like life,it's not easy but we don't stop living,so why should we stop loving?"..bla bla bla.. but it's true.absolutely true.i found myself trying to let love go,but no way i can do it.it's just hard.u have to be heartless to not to love.love doesn't really mean all sweet and nice,it means pain and heartache too.why oh why do it has to be that way?simply because to show us to appreciate the ones that we have,the ones that we love.

i sound like a grandma.oh,who cares?

sign

ndia

result oh result

nothing to write really.

i mean,everyone is talking about the result,the spm result.yeah of course i'm nervous as hell,but what to talk about?let's just wait and see.and pray in the waiting.people are having dreams and nightmares,but me?oh no,i sleep soundly and peacefully ;)

i can't believe how fast time flies.it was like yesterday (yes i use this famous sentence starter,so deal with it :p ) that i seated for spm,the last day of school,the last day to meet him.but now it's time to take the result.can't wait! yeah right!

what will happen?people expect me to score straight As (like i'm capable!) but what if i don't?i'm damn scared right now.i mean,i was dreaming to score straight As since the day i was born (exaggerate!),i was dreaming what will i ask from my father if i could score! really really hoping to score. but what if i don't? *pause for a breath*

honestly! there's like someone (recently IDed as nervous) tying knots and knots in my stomach..and he brings butterflies with him!thinking about this,i can't really breath..

chill..

okay.so what's the worst case scenario?let's face it..if i don't score good enough,there's always Matriks right?and if (let's hope not) i score badly,like really really bad,i can always get married,have kids and be a housewife ;) (unlikely)

soo..life is about waiting people!haha.let's just pray and pray until the big day come.

love

ndia