welcome back.

hey,welcome back bloggie.

there's things that happened that i can't tell.

that i don't wanna tell.

there's things i'm trying to do,

or not to do.

there's things that made me delete this blog,

then undelete it.

then delete some part of it,

though it will always be part of me.

or maybe not.

there's thing i'm trying to prove,

trying to achieve,

trying to show to everyone.

some might notice it,

others would be ignorant.

there's thing that changed me,

that shape me,

that weaken me,

or even strengthen me.

there's always thing that make me laugh,

cry,

mad,

or smile.

there's thing that worth my time,

and thing that i'm better off without.

there's always things in my life,

whether it's good or bad,

mad or sad,

public or secret,

that i have to accept.

whatever things it is,

may i be blessed.

love, ndia.

p/s:i'm back with a little twist ;)

the best of 2010 (finally!)

here's the moment of truth! the one that every one has been waiting for (tak lar,tak de orang tunggu pon)! since it's the year of independence to me, i think i have to add up some new categories.

the best people :)

my mum and dad!

they said absence makes the heart grows fonder. true! when i went to colleges, i can't stop crying for the first two days being apart from my family. and when i got sick, they are the ones who took care of me. i really love u guys :')

muhammad hakimie bin wali :*)

i can believe this guy has been with me throughout 2010. he's the one who made me smile, who made me laugh and even made me cry. but he showers me with love that i never think i will get. one thing that he didn't know is someone told me that i'm so ridiculous no one can stand me. and i used to believe that. but then, who was that person to tell me things? this guy has showed me than i deserved only the best, and the best is u syg :)

ashikin thajuddin

i owe many thanks to this girl simply because she's the reason why i survived college. okay, not literally. but she's the one who help me with the craziness of the subjects i have, she's the one who comforted me when i cried (only once okay!), and she's the one who i can gossip with.haha. but the most important reason is because she's very nice and i think everyone likes her. she better not read this.

nur sha aadarwina

budak pendek whose always with me trough thick and thin. maybe not really besides me, but she's the one i run to (not literally) when i have any problems. i realized that i'm not always there for her, but i always hope the best for her. and i always want the best for her. take care pendek :)

ezzaq gilo!

haha. i'm sorry syg but he's my best friend. the best guy friend ever. i can be as crazy as i want when he's around. sure he said stupid things that sometimes make me mad, but most of the time he makes me laugh, like rofl. he's the second person i used to find whenever i have problems with syg. but now i have to be independent and stop running to him whenever i have problems. i promised that to syg, didn't i? ;)

md64

md64 is not a nickname for anyone, fyi. it's my class in KMS. i think that every one in this class is super cool, besides the boys to be exact. not that i have anything against them, just that well, boys will always be boys. as a second intake student, they were really nice to me. and still are. i'm glad that i have the opportunity to know these people.

the best moments :)

driving and sewing classes!

i can't believe that i took these classes in this year! it felt like so far away now. driving classes were the best because that special person will wait with me for my turn. he's so sweet, i know. then in sewing classes i met new friends, all types of them. aside from learning how to sew, i learnt about life too because other students are older than me.

plkn :p

i can't believe i have this on my list. but frankly, plkn is one of the best thing i have done this year. i did so many dangerous thing that made me feel like i'm a brave girl. of course, i AM a brave girl ;p i met many friends and enemies here. HAHA. i learnt so many new things here.

the hangouts!

hangouts with friends and loved one will never be the same. now everyone is busy with new life and new friends, and that's why i cherish the hangouts that i had. we had a blast being childish grown ups at pcb, we dominated kbmall, we drove to here and there. oh what a fun! :B

the holidays!

honestly, holidays are the best days in my life. holidays feel better now that i'm living far away from home. home is really sweet home. i always look forward for holidays because i can go back to my beloved kelantan and meet my syg. big big smiley for that! :) i can feel the satisfaction of sleeping and waking up late, and the meals that my mum cook, and the shopping mall and the beach. that's haven for me okay?

the cas hours :p

cas is the activity that i have in college, one of the 3 requirements we have to fulfill in order to get our ib diplomas. to do the cas preparation is hell, but to do the cas activity is so much fun. we can do what we never done before and we can meet new people. and that's what cas is all about.

the best places :)

home

i used to hate staying at home because there's nothing much i can do at home. but now that i have driving licence, i love to stay at home because i can go anywhere i want! (as long as it's still in kelantan and the car gas is enough). i now realized that my home is spacious, unlike my dorm room. and i have my TEDDY at home!

kbmall

i used to hate living in kelantan because this is the only mall we can hang out. but i LOVE this mall now because this is where many memories where created. no matter how far we go, me and my friends will always meet up in this mall. yes, there's some new stores in this mall, but it's only another small reason why i love this mall now.

KMS

weird right? i said that i hate it, but it's one of the best places in 2010. my first 'asrama' ever. i don't know, i like what i can do in kms. i like my friends here, i like the teachers. i really don't know. this is something that i still can't explain.

the best subjects :)

Maths HL

haha. i can't believe this. maths hl is one of the hardest subject ever. it's the advance of addmath. i don't know why i was selected to take this subject, but it's my fate. and He knows better.

Chem HL

haha. chem hl has become the best subject thanks to madam zol. cheers md64.

maybe that's all folks. i will always cherish the moments in 2010 because i can never repeat them. may the memories live in my heart forever and may 2011 brings millions more joy :)

boleh aku luah kan?

kata kata tak dapat mengungkapkan perasaan seseorang. benar. aku ingin luahkan apa yang ku rasa, namun tak dapat ku luahkan dengan kata kata.

ada rasa gembira di hati, tapi kenapa air mata yang mengalir? ada rasa sedih di jiwa, namun kenapa amarah yang terhambur?dan bila diri terasa bengang, kenapa lidah menjadi kelu?

ya, memang lar aku tak sabar nak balik kampung, cuti cuti buang tekanan. tapi boleh tak kalau aku nak balik rumah balik? tak perlu balik kolej? dalam dada rasa sesak bila pikir pasal bilik kecil yang dikongsi 3 orang tu. otak rasa beku bila pikir pasal 6 matapelajaran yang memeningkan tu. tapi tak dinafikan, bibir menguntum senyum bila pikir pasal kawan kawan dari serata negeri yang dah lama tak kutemu tu.

tapi, macam mana dengan jantung hatiku? ketika inilah aku ingin hentikan masa. hentikan segalanya untuk aku dan dia. aneh, dalam drama semua nya mudah. tapi bila berlaku padaku, tak semudah 123. ada yang cakap berjauhan itu indah. entah. bila kita biasa dengan orang itu berhampiran kita, berjauhan itu menyeksakan, bukan? bukan kali pertama atau kali kedua kita perlu berjauhan, tapi setiap kali harus berpisah, setiap kali itu jiwaku meronta ronta. setiap kali itu air jernih jatuh di pipi. tapi kenapa kali ini terasa lebih berat daripada biasa?

"apa yang tidak membunuh kita akan membuat kita lebih kuat". sampai sekarang, aku masih tak faham ayat nie. adakah aku lebih kuat sekarang? adakah dengan berjauhan, membuatkan ku lebih kuat? adakah setiap titik air mataku itu menunjukkan kekuatanku?hah?

maaf terkasar dengan anda. sesungguhnya emosi tidak stabil.

sangat2 sedih bila mengenangkan apa yang akan dihadapi. apa yang perlu aku korbankan. tapi aku sedia maklum, aku mampu lakukan nya. aku bukan wanita lemah :)

inilah akibat bila hati dan cinta telah dicuri orang ;)

ah.hati dah rasa lega. memang sedih. tapi kalau cinta kita kuat, tak ada apa yang perlu dirisaukan, kan? kalau ada jodoh, bukit dikejar tak kan lari. tapi, sedangkan pantai lagi berubah, apatah pula hati manusia? pantai berubah kerana ombak. jika tiada ombak, pantai takkan berubah. moga tiada ombak yang hadir antara kami berdua.

the other part of me is him :)

hey, my love is for u. period.

sampai sini dulu luahan hatiku. mungkin lain hari, mungkin lain perasaan.

terima kasih sudi dijadikan tempat untuk ku menulis ;)