goodbye IB. goodbye KMS.

hye.

I can't believe that it's over. my never ending IB program had actually ended. how is that possible?
I can say I'm relieved, ecstatic in fact, but somehow, deep in my heart I felt sad.
two years I spent here, two years. sometimes I felt two years is long, but now two years had gone by. there are just lots and lots of good memories I made here, good and bad. but looking back, it all had been good to me.

people left KMS two days ago, but I'm still here waiting for my parents. I didn't really mind though, I kinda like being in KMS. sure I whined sometimes, I felt suffocated sometimes, I cried sometimes, but this is my life. I was like, attached to KMS. I don't know what do I do after I leave KMS. this is the life I know. get up in the morning, went to class, study in the evening, study at night, then sleep. that's my life. studying during the weekend. studying during the holidays. like, what am I supposed to do after this? *sigh*

I'm gonna miss KMS. I'm gonna miss the hostel (minus the toilet. urgh i hate the toilet). I'm gonna miss my friends. I'm gonna miss ds. I'm gonna miss peeping the boys playing soccer in the evening. I'm gonna miss walking to the Terminal One.I'm gonna miss IB (yeaahh i don't think so). I'm gonna miss these all. but life goes on right? so brave yourself nadia to the next stage of life.

lemme talk about IB.
you know nothing about IB when they offer you the program. you went there, do the IB program and gain something on your way. you hated the IB program, you regretted ever accepting the offer. you cried a lot due to the toughness of IB. you whined, you complained, you threaten to drop IB program and elope instead. sometimes you enjoy IB, especially the CAS program. you get to go here and there, meet new friends and try new things.then after several times, you acclimatized to it. you feel nothing anymore. but then comes the IRP program. you get tired and sleep all night long, you wake up the next day just to do the same thing. then comes the trial. you only have one week exam for all six subjects with at least 2 papers per subject. you can't answer the questions, you get out of hall and cried. the next day was the same thing. then comes the result, you cried again. then it was only a few days left for the real IB final exam. you prayed hard so you get to answer the questions. you go into the hall, answer the questions and you go out without feeling anything.after the exam ended, you have your grand dinner. you dress up, take a lot of pictures and went home. that's IB, from my point of view.

people I know from KMS, will i ever meet them again. I mean some of them yes, I'm gonna meet them at manipal. but the rest? I don't know. I know I said I felt sad, but there's no tears to it. erm I wonder why.

so my plan for the 3 months holidays?
1) travel around Malaysia. but i'm not sure about this yet
2) learn how to cook. like seriously nadia.
3) be a driver. that's for sure.
4) finish all my novels.

so basically that's all.

you know what? I'm gonna stop now. maybe after leaving KMS will i cry.
anyway, adios amigos. thanks for all the sweet memories.
toodles! :)

love;

ndia :)

macaroni.

we had some macaroni treats tonight.
taste good, but some of us only get a little and some don't get at all.
tired, write later.

p/s: the hunger game was super cool! mirror mirror was super cute!

till then, toodles.

eh wait, trial exam next week. final exam 3 weeks later. pray for me.
toodles :)

love;

ndia :)

cuti.

cuti seminggu nie berlalu pantas. sangat pantas.
hari jumaat; aku balik dan terus ke rumah pantai. buat bbq sampai malam dan tidur.
hari sabtu; bangun lewat dan balik rumah. petang tengok cerita hindustan. malam demam.
hari ahad; masih demam sampai malam. tak buat apa-apa sepanjang hari.
hari isnin; pagi study dan tidur. petang ke kbmall, rumah aa dan tutti frutti.
hari selasa; pagi library dan petang tesco.
hari rabu; pagi mengurut dan petang renew license.
hari khamis; pagi kenduri dan petang keluar cari dress. malam tulis blog.

see, tak sempat aku nak buat apa-apa kan? masa berjalan sangat cepat.study tak sempat pon, dan kalau banyak masa pon aku masih malas.
aku tak tau nak buat macam mana, tak pernah ada mood nak study. study kejap2 dah bosan, mengantuk, hilang fokus dan sebagainya.

lagi satu masalah aku, aku sibuk cari baju untuk dinner bulan 5 nie. kalau tak cari sekarang nanti tak sempat, then takkan aku nak pakai baju kurung kut?
aku search internet ada yang berkenan, tapi oversea punya lar. memang tak mampu lar.
then online blogshop pon okay, tapi tunjuk kat mummy tadi dia kata tak lawa pulak. aish.
ada aku pergi kedai tu aku rasa lawa tau, tapi tengok2 salesgirl tu dah pakai. memang cilakak jugak lar aku rasa kan, patut macam tak nak jual pon. damn.

waktu waktu cuti macam nie lar sesuai untuk mengungkit kembali kisah silam, bila masing-masing di sini. dan kisah silam mencari aku, bukan sebaliknya.
aku pon dah tak tahu nak cakap macam mana, memang aku dah tak nak. aku memang rasa tak ada faedah dan manfaat diteruskan, tapi bila kesunyian, peluang dicari, kesempatan diambil.akhirnya hati terluka.
tak, aku dah tahu peraturan permainan ini, ibarat aku mempunyai tiga nyawa, satu telah hilang dan tinggal dua lagi. ibarat musim cuti aku telah mempertaruhkan nyawa kedua, dan aku sendiri tidak pasti adakah nyawa itu telah hilang atau masih ada.
tapi yang paling penting, permainan ini melibatkan lebih dari dua pemain, dan aku, aku yang harus memastikan nyawa-nyawa semua pemain masih ada.
kenapa? kenapa aku?
kerana aku pernah hilang satu nyawa itu, dan aku rasa tidak perlu untuk pemain lain turut merasai perasaan itu.
tapi kenapa aku masih bermain permainan ini? kenapa?
kerana aku bosan. kerana aku suka mengambil kesempatan. kerana aku tidak berniat untuk menggunakan nyawa itu, tidak. aku hanya mahu bermain. bermain ketika cuti. bermain untuk kesekian kali.
kerana pemain utama sudah menarik diri. permainan sudah tamat.
sehingga pusingan seterusnya dibuka. dan pusingan seterusnya entah bila akan dibuka. atau mungkin tidak akan dibuka lagi.
lebih baik jika tidak dibuka lagi. kerana kisah silam patut kekal sebagai kisah silam.
"if it doesn't work out for the first time, what makes you think it will for the second time?"

until then, toodles!

love,

ndia :)

p/s: i might hurt you a lot, but believe me, you hurt lots of other people,including me,hard.