well better believe it because i will have to write once more for the best of 2011 post.
but as for today, i just want to tell you something that i realised just now.
i went out to meet two of my best friends to give them their birthday presents.we met, we had a drink and we talk. well actually they talk and i listen.
and i discovered that i've changed. that's good because i always change.
but i realised that what a mess they are. i dont know, i'm not saying i'm good and all that stuff, i used to be like them or even worse, but just listening to their stories i felt guilty.
they're my friends, i was supposed to help them find the right way, do the right thing.
i mean, i tried giving advises, but when you're friends for too long you laugh at anything your friends say even though they are being serious.
and then, i was grateful that i found my way and i feel stronger than ever to change to be a better person.
maybe that's my number one resolution. change to be a better person.
i think on new years day i will write about my 12 new year's resolution. 12 for 2012.
and before 2012 i will have to write about the best of 2011.
and i have no idea what to write about.
2011 just flew by me that i dont even remember anything good (exaggerate)
no but seriously. i think something is wrong with me.
i had fun but nothing major, its just normal fun.
of course maybe some favorite moments, but it will never be the same as the first post of 'the best of'.
you know that 2012 is approaching fast and i'm about to go back to college, but i still do nothing everyday.
i know its unsafe, unhealthy and the future me will curse at me now for wasting so much time but i just dont know what to do.
study? like i have the mood.
works? finished (i think).
chores? errr haha.
and to think that next year will be the last year of ib, i'm glad but at the same time scared. that means i will have to sit for my final exam aarrgghhh.
oh i just remember something. someone used to say my behavior is so ridiculous that no one can accept me. and my friend used to say that i play hard to get really hard, like really really hard to get.and maybe i didnt really know how to reply to flirts, but you guys know what? ''brick walls are there for other people, for those who dont want it badly enough''. and i held on to this saying. if anyone wants me, then it wouldnt matter if i'm ludicrous, hard to get, furious and all that stuff, they would try their best to get me and only then i will know they are sincere with their feelings.
i'm done dealing with flirts, once bitten twice shy. you thought that they would change when they meet you but you know what? they would change before they get you, and if they still havent change when you're together than they just didnt worth it.
i thought i had the heart of rocks, but i wouldnt risk myself falling in love with a flirt anymore.
okay i'm not saying i hate flirts, it's just a safety precaution for me. and anyway, i want to be a better person right? so i want to deal with good people.
though i own you a big apology. no scratch that i do not own you any apology you kiddo. deal with me.
i think i'm running out of ideas to say.
p/s: you featured in my dream last night. you must miss me then haha
love;
ndia :)
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