Final Year Dental Student

hi and hello blog!
Alhamdulillah, i'm now a final year dental student!
the last sprint of my university life.

4th year results came out during holidays, and i can't emphasize enough about how nervous we all were waiting for the whatsapp to come in saying results are out. and once the cr send the results in whatsapp group, i almost cry, tears of relief! we pass!

studying for sessional and professional exams were strenuous and arduous, we spent almost 2 months in library, i didn't even realized that my hair grew long because most of the time it was tied up in shawls. pimples popped up everywhere, and the worst was 3 came up during sessionals, right before raya!

oh and talking about raya, my friend got married to my ex-bf and i went to their wedding! is that messed up? i mean, i don't know what goes through his head, but i went because its was my friend's wedding. and anyway i didn't hold any more grudges towards him. i just pray that it was the best for them, because i do still love my friend even though we are not as close as we were. but saying that, i so don't want to meet them again at any other event because that's enough for me.

there's something that happened after raya, other than exams and my ex got married. jeng jeng jeng, suspen tak? LOL
it's that i got involved with a boy. wait, that kinda sound suspicious and scary. no don't worry nothing major, its just that i got into a relationship because i'm lonely, something i should never ever do, with someone who i don't even like that much. and i' not even happy with the relationship, but i don't know why i haven't ended it. i guess it was so long ago that i forgot how to break up with someone? or i'm just spineless? i was kinda hoping that he'll break it off. i mean, i'm not even serious with him, so maybe when the time comes and we break up, i won't even be that sad. but i can't bring myself to tell him that i want to call quit. i just want to buat senyap and hope he wanders away and we can forget each others. but oh i don't know, even now when he's busy and can't text me, i feel sad. i mean, what's the point of having someone, who can't even be there for you? i might as well be single, amirite?

so i was gonna connect the two stories. after my ex got married, i got into this relationship right? and a few days later i dreamt something weird. i don't really know how to put this into words, but i realized my new bf is an asshole just like my ex. and i kept dreaming about my new bf turning into my ex. there's one dream where there's my ex with his wife. i mean, come on, WTF? hahahaha. mybe this new bf is an asshole, and the dream is trying to tell me. idk.

anyway, there comes several times where i feel sad and afraid because lots of my friends are getting engaged, married, or having kids, while i'm still here wasting my youth LOL. but other times, in all seriousness, i am not ready to get married and have a whole new life. i mean, yeah having your significant others are awesome and all, but the responsibilities that come with it is huge, and i'm just not ready. maybe that's why i haven't met my guy just yet. maybe he'll come at the right time. i still believe in love and marriage, don't get me wrong. but married at 24 is not for me. maybe even not married at 25,26,27. maybe i wont get married at all, who knows but Allah, right? if that's the case, i just have to remind myself and everyone around me, that it's for the best.

i'm writing on a sunday night, after being left by a tired boyfriend who went to bed early because i'm not important enough for him to sacrifice his sleep. emo much? LOL

anyway, what i was gonna say before i sidetrack was that, i was writing after a week into final year. and we were bombarded with everything. i mean, everything; from syllabus for each exams, to seminars, clinical quotas, competency tests, and not forgetting, our elective projects. they say that final year will just whirl pass you and next thing you know is you're taking Pro5. and i believe them. so, apart from studying and working my ass of to complete my quota, i'm gonna enjoy every single moment being a final year dental student of melaka manipal medical college.

i pray that Allah make it easy for each and everyone of us, and we can graduate on time. aamiin.

i'll talk to you guys later.
till then, toodles!

love;

ndia :)

Dont worry, i'm still alive

Hi and hello!
Wow, i dont even remember about blog until just now.
I was thinking about sharing how bad my skin is, but i dont really wanna share with the world (my circle), so i remember this blog which no one ever read (except yani hahaha)

So straight to the point. My skin started acting up since last year i think (end of 2015), nothing major but it was still a nuisance.

Until recently ( last 2 mths) i got fungal infection, it was tinea. There was this round reddish dry skin on my left cheek that was so itchy, and it got worse after sweating. I dont know why i didnt check it up sooner, but i went to the gp and he gave me antifungal. And while at it, he saw i have several acnes, so he gave me antibiotics too. I took the pills for almost 2 mths.

While Alhamdulillah the tinea infection went off, i cant really say the same for my acne. I mean its not that bad, but still its there. And they keep coming too.

And i think around 3 weeks ago i noticed white patches on my forehead and cheek. Again, i dont know why i didnt go to the doc straightaway even i suspected panau at the first sight. I let it be until last monday a dsa ask whats wrong with my face. Then on tuesday a lect ask again, and shes worried that its the start of vitiligo. I mean; thats soooo not helpful! I was very scared i almost cry! So i went to a gp after class and thankfully she said it was only panau. Pheww

Nevertheless, panau took at least 1 to 2 weeks to go away, so i need to live with this now. Oh panau is another fungal infection, sth versicolor. So she gave me topical antifungal. And i apply it religiously in the hope it'll go sooner

So just now i was thinking, why cant i have normal looking skin? I mean, i understand the monthly pimple, but a whole gang? And whats with this fungi? Its not like i dont wash my face or change my pillowcase. Sibuk je nak naik kat muka orang.

It really affect my confidence level (not really, i still go out a lot lol). But i have low self esteem to begin with, and now having bad skin seems to bring me to another down. I wonder if strangers look at me, and think "kesian dia ada panau kat dahi" 😢.

But its okay. Its only superficial. At least all my forms and functions are still normal, Alhamdulillah.

So thats all i wanna luahkan today. Free2 i tulis lagi pasal kehidupan sebagai 4th year dental student.

Toodles!
Love; ndia :)

hello 2015

hi and hello!
its 2015 and i'm still lazying around.
if you've been following me (which is highly unlikely), you'll notice that i havent post the best of 2014.
to be honest, i completely forgot to write that.
then when i think of it, i cant really recall any best moment,
i mean, of course there are few good memories, but they are not that significant
so i'll write that later, when the mood and the idea comes

so some updates!

1. still in melaka, currently in 3rd year bds program. i am such a lazy person now, i dont even listen to the lecturers in class! its so bad because the subjects are for three years, meaning i'll need to take the subject this year and next year and will only be having exam on the final year. the human disease subject is the most horrible, terrible, miserable subject ever. i dont even know what we need to know! i dont know how to pass this year. then when it comes to clinical, i suck. i only have 1 patient so far and i was shaking when i was doing the E and D and scaling. i dont know how i'm going to be a good dentist if i dont improve :(

2. switching sports to squash! it was so much easier and more satisfying than tennis because we can hit as hard as we can. such a good stress reliever. but i am jack of all trade and master of none. whatever as long as i enjoy myself, right? :)

3. if we're gonna talk about that person, i think i'm already moving on and feeling better day by day. i mean its been soooo long since i last contacted him, and we dont even talk in class, it is obvious that i avoided him as much as possible, and at this point i dont even care if he was hurt by my actions because i need to move on. and 'once you fall in love, you cant never go back to being friends'. i mean, its not that i hate him, but i just cant see any reason to talk to him any more. i'm basically okay but i cant lie, sometimes at the mention of his name i still twitch. and at nights or when i'm feeling down and i think of him, it still hurts me, but not as much. let's hope this year i will be able to laugh about this whole stupid mess up things, shall we?

4. i realized that by the end of 2014 i was not a really good person. at first when i moved to melaka, i kinda distant myself from others. i dont know why but that was what i did. maybe i was adapting myself to melaka, but i'm glad that i'm better around people now. i realized i dont have any new year resolution, mainly because new year doesnt really mean anything to me anymore. i remember last year i have only 1 resolution, and i kinda stick to that until almost october. it was sad really that i fall back to where i stood before, but i dont know. not strong enough?

5. almost 5 months in melaka and not even once i go back to kelantan. there was a really bad flood that happened at the end of 2014, but Alhamdulillah my house and my family was not affected. but nevertheless it was heartbreaking to see all these houses got destroyed by the flood. i can only pray that those affected will be strong.

6. i spent a lot of money on unnecessary items. i should really stop doing that. new year resolution? LOL.

i think i should stop here. i'll write 'the best of' next time.
till then, toodles!

love;

ndia :)