wow hello again

hi and hello!

i don't even write last year, maybe i forgot about blogging? maybe i'm lazy? who knows?

okay so update!

- almost 27 and still single *

- finished my 1st year as ndo now on my 2nd year *

- skin condition: was okay then more acne again *

- fit and healthy Alhamdulillah

- living with my parents Alhamdulillah

- not really broke anymore...

*(more details later)

lets go to the first subject: relationship

i thought i already wrote sth about this but apparently not so i'm actually quite lazy to write too much. to cut story short; i had a bf last 2 year that lasted for 1 year, then my parents didn't really approve of him, then after that 1 glitch he decided to walk away. i mean of course i was devastated at first because i really thought he's the one i'm gonna marry, but after 4-5 months of being sad i'm actually glad that mommy said no. if he really loves and wants me, he'll damn sure fight for me, at least once. ni sekali je mommy said no terus blah. yes i get that he's hurt tapi come on lah, after 1 month he already had someone else. no one that was really in love could move on that fast. i got to thinking yesterday that i already forgave him for not choosing me and not fighting for me, but i haven't actually forgive him for moving on too fast. then macam tau2 je tiba2 ada this 1 tweet said you're not at peace with your heart if you haven't forgive someone. so yes i decided to forgive that little piece of shit guy. i really hope that he's happy and not make the next girl as rebound, because i still support girls over boys. that being said, i still haven't find anyone after him, at first it was because i wasn't ready, then there's someone that i don't really like, then after that takde dah. why don't people approach me? :( :(

that's enough dwelling. i believe that the right person will come at the right time, and if there's no right person for me, then maybe married life is not for me. i just hope that i will redha and people around me won't bising if i never get married.

moving on.. career wise!

to start off: we're actually contract workers, our contract is 1+2 where the first year is wajib then another 2 is not, meaning we can leave gov after 1 year. i already finished my 1st year and now on my 2nd year, where i'm still being evaluated to get a permanent post in gov. i'm the 4th batch of contract workers and the first batch has another 6 months before their 3 year contract ended. turns out only about 50% is absorbed huhuhuhu. i don't know man.. i don't know if i will be absorbed, and if i am, where will they send me, and it i am not, where will i work huhuhuhu.

to write a bit about my working life: it's actually great, i like my kp. my kp is 25min from my house which is okay. the people are nice, some are not but again, it's okay, it's expected that not everyone is nice. my colleagues are fine, we get along pretty well. so tu je lah.

then 3rd subject; my skin huhu

actually last year my skin was good and not really problematic other than the occasional hormonal acne. but this year, april to be exact, suddenly i broke out, not that bad but there's like 5 or more pimples that just difficult to treat. then they leave PIH. not to forgot these pesky small whitehead around my chin that really don't go away despite double cleansing (note: maybe Heimish cleansing balm doesn't deep clean, and i don't really exfoliate anymore except for clay mask). so i decided to seek professional help. i mean i really want to do tx for my deep scars tapi asyik postpone je and i don't even know why. last week i decided to just go for it and stop procrastinating. yesterday was my first dermapen session. first they put numbing cream for 45 min, then they do the dermapen itself for around 15 min. it was okay not too painful, but you can still feel the needle. after that they put some serum, then LED mask. during masking i can fell my face berdenyut2 but it was not painful lah, cuma slight discomfort. lepas siap mask for 20mins they put sunscreen and i'm done! my face was slightly reddish, some needle marks on my nose but other than that it was okay. lepas mandi when i'm putting my serum, moisturizer and night mask, boy it kinda burns!! for a couple minutes but i was actually scared tapi lepas dah hilang burn tu okay je. today dah tak burn dah bila pakai serum but the needle marks on my nose is sstill pretty visible. i hope by sunday hilang because i really don't want people to ask.

after all these 3 main topics, what else should i write?

oh! i actually went to Korea with my parents last year, we went by ourselves, no travel agency whatsoever. it was really cool! i love it! especially the skincare shopping since i love skincare now. my goal is to travel overseas once a year, and this year tak pergi oversea lagi. the plan is to go vietnam, tickets bought tapi only 2 people now, hoping to recruit at least another 1 person actually.

i did go to sabah earlier this year, it was so much fun! tapi not many things to do in KK actually, and they said the marine life in perhentian is so much better than KK. planning to go hike mount kinabalu next year insyaAllah.

raya this year only abang balik, but along did sent a lot of gifts so it's great! i got alexa, amazon fire stick tv and ted baker hand cream. i dont really use alexa but i use the fire stick to watch netflix on my tv so its really great hehe.

i better stop now. i'm actually writing while wearing this at-home teeth whitening and time is up. gonna remove this thing, then watch some youtube maybe then sleep.

till next time,

toodles!

love;

ndia :)

update on being Nadia

hi and hello everyone!
i was reading notes about casting defect online, and i realized that it was on blogspot, so it seems fitting that i drop by my own page!
i read about my last 2 posts, one is about how we passed our Pro4 and now are final year students, and another is about my skin condition.
now i'm gonna update about these 2 things, and maybe talk about a few other stuffs

we are now 2 weeks away from sessional, and i'm not even that serious about my study! i seriously don't know what wrong with me, i seem to be lack of passion. i missed a lot of classes because i kept oversleeping, and i don't even care! sometimes i extend my cuti because i went back home. in year 3 and 4, i don't really go back unless its a long holiday, but this year, i made a 5 day holidays out of 3 because i went back to kelantan. i mean, it was juniors exam, and they closed down the clinics so i don't miss much postings, but i still skip a lot of classes. they haven't announced the attendance yet, so i don't know how badly i did and what they're gonna do. just hope that they will only give warnings or something, nothing serious or bad. then about my study, in last post i talked about studying in library all the time. this year i haven't even started going to the library for the finals. i keep on delaying even when everyone keep ajak me. i'm just too damn lazy to get ready and walk the (100m) distance. especially at night when i already washed my face and all. BUT i did study in my room okay, its just not that productive as compared to being in library. for example, i studied like 30 min this morning then i went back to bed for 2 hours lol. then i keep sidetracking on youtube. i really am addicted to youtube, that's a serious problem lol. (just checked youtube for any new videos lol)

update about my new boyfriend? it's funny that in my last post i said i just want to buat senyap and hope he goes away. well guess what? that's exactly what happened! and as expected, i'm not even that sad. i mean it was a bit difficult at first, but i know it was all habits. i got used to texting him so it was weird not to receive any texts anymore. it took a few days for my heart not to glitch at the mention of his name, but after that i was really really happy. seriously guys, i'm not even kidding. i think around that time i found this video saying that it's only our choice to be happy or not, and i believe it. i even made a poster with a quote "Decide to be happy today" and put it on my wardrobe so i remember to choose to be happy everyday. i rarely have sad episodes anymore, but i do cry at the stupidest things when i'm PMS-ing. it's only normal.

okay next onto my skin!
argh i'm so frustrated with it! i was complaining about pimples last year, so this year it decided to go dry. i don't really mind a bit of dry patches at first, i thought it was normal dry skin so i bought a moisturizing cleanser, which seems to work for a few weeks, when suddenly the dry patches freaking SPREAD! like how could dry skin spread?? i think this dry skin started when i start year5. so i went to the clinic, and they gave me this cream which again, seems to work at first but then the dryness came back stronger! so i went to another clinic. the doctor was a bit worried about underlying conditions and all, so she suggested me to go see a specialist. so i went to kk to get a referral letter to a dermatologist (since i can't afford private) and i got an appointment for a week later. then i went to the dermatologist, and i don't think they came up with an exact diagnosis. there was this one young female doctor, which i think is not yet a derma, and she checked me and asked few questions, and she called another doctor, a bit older which i think is a derma, and they discussed my case. i remember them saying my condition is not really this disease (i forgot what it was, i think it was sebarrhoic dermatitis because they ask i have dandruff) per se, so they were assuming it was eczema (funny because that's what mummy said. when they couldn't come up with proper diagnosis, they'll say its eczema lol). i mean, i did think i have eczema on my fingers, it was red and itchy. but on my face it was nothing like eczema. but then again, i didn't study skin. so they gave me this huge bottle of hydrocrotisone and a tube of clotrimazole. these medicines, again, like you can predict, work at first but lose its efficacy after a few days. then the dryness spread onto my eyelids, one at a time. my FKING eyelids! when it's really dry, it felt really heavy that its a burden to open my eyes. ARGHH!

what i hate more than the dryness of my face is that people keep asking me why. like shut the fck up, even i don't know why! i think it's worse than acne. i can't even wear make up :(

okay let's move on before i explode.

year 5 really passes by quickly, like i'll be taking finals in no time! it was great overall, i did win the international dental quiz yay! then we did our best to present our elective project but we didn't win anything. it's okay. then we finished our competency tests. but not our quotas yet. i think i won't finish my quota even until Pro5, and i hope they don't even care. that's what our seniors said, so i hope its true. competing to get cases for our quotas really bring out the worse in us, so i hate it. i especially hate it when juniors get more cases. some of them are really rude like i so want to hit them with a chair, while some are a bit more considerate. i hope their juniors are more rude so they will be living in hell when they're in year 5. serve those bitches right.

since i didn't write the best of 2016 (i don't really remember anymore), i'll just list down what good things that has happened to me:
1) pass Pro4
2) went hiking at Bukit Batu Putih and Gunung Datuk
3) won the international undergraduate dental quiz
4) got a new phone from papa
5) done and dusted the elective project
6) ATV riding even though i almost fell of a cliff :O
7) cycling around Malacca town
8) photo shoot at Klebang
9) took part in Manipal Run for Life. 5km for 38min. a new record for me even when i didn't win anything
10) working as a waiter. it was really fun though
11) those carefree nights where we hung out until 1 in the morning

i think i better stop here. i need ma sleep.
write later when i'm feeling it.
till then, toodles!

love;

ndia :)

Final Year Dental Student

hi and hello blog!
Alhamdulillah, i'm now a final year dental student!
the last sprint of my university life.

4th year results came out during holidays, and i can't emphasize enough about how nervous we all were waiting for the whatsapp to come in saying results are out. and once the cr send the results in whatsapp group, i almost cry, tears of relief! we pass!

studying for sessional and professional exams were strenuous and arduous, we spent almost 2 months in library, i didn't even realized that my hair grew long because most of the time it was tied up in shawls. pimples popped up everywhere, and the worst was 3 came up during sessionals, right before raya!

oh and talking about raya, my friend got married to my ex-bf and i went to their wedding! is that messed up? i mean, i don't know what goes through his head, but i went because its was my friend's wedding. and anyway i didn't hold any more grudges towards him. i just pray that it was the best for them, because i do still love my friend even though we are not as close as we were. but saying that, i so don't want to meet them again at any other event because that's enough for me.

there's something that happened after raya, other than exams and my ex got married. jeng jeng jeng, suspen tak? LOL
it's that i got involved with a boy. wait, that kinda sound suspicious and scary. no don't worry nothing major, its just that i got into a relationship because i'm lonely, something i should never ever do, with someone who i don't even like that much. and i' not even happy with the relationship, but i don't know why i haven't ended it. i guess it was so long ago that i forgot how to break up with someone? or i'm just spineless? i was kinda hoping that he'll break it off. i mean, i'm not even serious with him, so maybe when the time comes and we break up, i won't even be that sad. but i can't bring myself to tell him that i want to call quit. i just want to buat senyap and hope he wanders away and we can forget each others. but oh i don't know, even now when he's busy and can't text me, i feel sad. i mean, what's the point of having someone, who can't even be there for you? i might as well be single, amirite?

so i was gonna connect the two stories. after my ex got married, i got into this relationship right? and a few days later i dreamt something weird. i don't really know how to put this into words, but i realized my new bf is an asshole just like my ex. and i kept dreaming about my new bf turning into my ex. there's one dream where there's my ex with his wife. i mean, come on, WTF? hahahaha. mybe this new bf is an asshole, and the dream is trying to tell me. idk.

anyway, there comes several times where i feel sad and afraid because lots of my friends are getting engaged, married, or having kids, while i'm still here wasting my youth LOL. but other times, in all seriousness, i am not ready to get married and have a whole new life. i mean, yeah having your significant others are awesome and all, but the responsibilities that come with it is huge, and i'm just not ready. maybe that's why i haven't met my guy just yet. maybe he'll come at the right time. i still believe in love and marriage, don't get me wrong. but married at 24 is not for me. maybe even not married at 25,26,27. maybe i wont get married at all, who knows but Allah, right? if that's the case, i just have to remind myself and everyone around me, that it's for the best.

i'm writing on a sunday night, after being left by a tired boyfriend who went to bed early because i'm not important enough for him to sacrifice his sleep. emo much? LOL

anyway, what i was gonna say before i sidetrack was that, i was writing after a week into final year. and we were bombarded with everything. i mean, everything; from syllabus for each exams, to seminars, clinical quotas, competency tests, and not forgetting, our elective projects. they say that final year will just whirl pass you and next thing you know is you're taking Pro5. and i believe them. so, apart from studying and working my ass of to complete my quota, i'm gonna enjoy every single moment being a final year dental student of melaka manipal medical college.

i pray that Allah make it easy for each and everyone of us, and we can graduate on time. aamiin.

i'll talk to you guys later.
till then, toodles!

love;

ndia :)